It’s that time of year again, folks — and, like my editor, I am shocked out of my daggum mind that I have never written about it until now.
North Carolina’s 2024 State Fair runs from Thursday, Oct. 17, to Sunday, Oct. 27, so grab your denim overalls and prepare to get the turkey leg meat sweats on an unseasonably warm day.
The State Fair is a veritable mosh pit of redneckery that only the North Carolina Department of Agriculture and God Himself could put together for 10 magical days. Yes, you have the typical items on display: fried fair food, cows, rides, a possible throuple with no sense of propriety standing next to your 3-year-old in the Ferris wheel line — but this year is sure to bankrupt you in brand-new ways!
As the local guide that no one asked for, I’m here to give you some survival tips for navigating and escaping this year’s fair with your soul (and bowels) intact.
Get in for Free (kind of)
On Thursday, Oct. 24, you can score free admission to the state fair by bringing in six cans of food to donate to Smithfield Foods Hunger Relief Day. For adults, this will save you $13 at the gate, and $7 for kids. For rides, it’ll save you absolutely nothing. That’s right: You’re still going to have to mortgage your house to afford unlimited ride wristbands for all the kids you thought were a good idea before you were a sleep-deprived ghost of yourself.
Say goodbye to your hard earned cash and your sanity, and say hello to the NC State Fair.
Free Shuttles
Everyone will tell you that parking is free at the fair. While that may be technically true, it gets packed, especially in the evening. At the end of a very long night, when you’re broke and traumatized by some guy named Jimmy whose damp chest hairs grazed you on the Tilt-A-Whirl, the last thing you want to worry about is hiking 5 miles in the dark to find your car. Yes, you can opt to pay some guy’s rent to park in his driveway, but it’s important to note that the State Fair does offer free off-site parking at the corner of Edwards Mill and Reedy Creek Roads. Free shuttles are provided, and you’ll be dropped off just across from Gate 9 on Trinity Road and picked up at the same location. You’re welcome.
Clear Bags
You can still enter this year’s fair with a regular bag, but at each gate there are two security checkpoints. If you’d like to get into the fair quickly and not have Big Ed pulling out your crumpled sanitary supplies in front of a bunch of middle-school boys, I’d opt for a clear bag. Fun fact! There is no size limit to the clear bag being accepted, so feel free to pack the biggest bottle of Pepto you’ve got.
Prime time with the Pack and a Deal for The Olds
If you’re a student at NC State, you can save $5 at the gate (big money!) by showing your student ID card. This offer is only available on Thursday, Oct. 17, so you have to choose between the club and the fair. Life is full of hard choices. If you’re a student at any of the other 10 universities in the area, the State Fair has nothing for you, so definitely choose the club. If you’re a senior citizen, ages 65 and older receive free admission on Tuesday, Oct. 22. Accessible parking is available outside gate 10. Is it worth the inevitable back and foot pain? Probably not, but YOLO.
Baby Rednecks
Any OG Fuquay farmers reading this? You might want to hit up the “Field of Dreams.” This miniature farm is designed for tiny North Carolinians who are interested in farming, harvesting vegetables, and taking mini John Deere tractor rides (no, seriously). There are also rabbits, turkeys, and like-minded parents with free-range children and chickens. Located near Gate 1 and Dorton Arena. Open daily from 9 a.m. to 8:30 p.m., except on Thursday, Oct. 17, when the exhibit will open at noon.
Bring Your Own Food
Many people don’t realize that you are absolutely allowed to bring your own food into the State Fair. Bear in mind, you cannot bring alcohol or anything in a glass bottle. This might be a good option, since you’re blowing your hard-earned money on an experience that your kids are sure to forget by Thanksgiving. If you’d like to dabble in the fair food, do so at your own risk. Yes, you can get deep-fried Oreos and waffles-on-a-stick, but your stomach will remind you of your debauchery six hours later, when you’re sweating and ripping your shirt off on the porcelain throne. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
There’s a ton of information I didn’t share with you, but I don’t have all day. Regardless of what advice you choose to follow, a time will be had. For more information on “special discounts” and announcements regarding what’s new at this year’s fair, visit ncagr.gov/divisions/ncstatefair/2024.
