Are you looking for a good place to eat and talk smack about co-workers with Deb from accounting? What about all the Kaidens and Kayleighs looking for the perfect pre-prom meal? Whether you’re looking for romantic Tuesdate or fast food farts from a six-dollar junior bacon mcwhoppinator, the towns of Fuquay-Varina and Holly Springs have got you covered.
That’s right, Cary, we have more than just coff ee, beer, and squatted trucks — we have coffee, beer, squatted trucks, and an assortment of restaurants for every occasion! They might not be Michelin Star establishments, but I’d bet my life on that albino deer in Holly Springs that there is a Michelin tire somewhere in the parking lot (and that’s got to count for something).
Date Night for Teens
If your loin fruit can’t afford Ruth’s Chris Steak House or Texas Roadhouse because they’re spending all their money filling up their trucks with gas, never fear!
Southern Wake has no shortage of Ken-Taco-Huts to get them through the night! If you’re worried that your broke scrub of a son will embarrass his date, don’t be. Teenagers in Fuquay-Varina have been hitting up Burger King and Cook Out in their Men’s Wearhouse specials for years!
However, there are fancy food options, too. Garibaldi serves something called “vongole oreganatta,” which is some kind of razzle dazzle clam dish that I can’t even pronounce.
Sushi fans can head over to Osha Thai Kitchen in Holly Springs (not to be confused with OSHA) and order a selection of nigiri/sashimi like Mr. Worldwide himself. Dream big, kids!
Date Night for Adults
Yes, this deserves a separate section, and I think you know why — ALCOHOL. With the sheer amount of places to drink in Southern Wake, date nights are a different breed. While there are plenty of breweries out there, I’m going to ignore them completely and focus on places that serve food as well (food trucks don’t count).
The Blind Pelican
If you’re looking for a cocktail that looks like it will reach out of the pits of hell and drag your drunken shell of a body to the underworld, then head over to The Blind Pelican in Holly Springs and order “The Kraken.” Don’t worry, this cocktail won’t make you look like a (complete) alcoholic, because it’s some kind of bloody mary/edible arrangement hybrid that includes shrimp, bacon, grilled cheese, lobster tail, and a full pound of crab legs. I don’t even know, guys. (But you can find out more on page xx.) You’re going to get fat and drunk, so make sure this is like a “married date” situation where you’ve both seen each other at your worst and yet continue to fart in bed together, night after night.
For those who are single and ready to mingle with shady people they found on Tinder, there are plenty of very public places to enjoy a date and make a quick escape if needed. The Mason Jar Tavern, in both Fuquay-Varina and Holly Springs, says, “I’m approachable because I drink beer from a mason jar.”
Pimiento Tea Room
If you want to seem like a fancy local foodie type, invite them to Sunday brunch at the Pimiento Tea Room for pimento profiteroles (but bring some brass knuckles for a seat — that church crowd is no joke). Don’t overthink it, though. You’re already being judged by your date, so you might as well let your restaurant choice speak to who you are as a person. BOJANGLES IT IS.
Lunch Date with Co-Workers
This one is tricky, because it has to be the perfect combination of “I’m a fun guy outside the office” and “… but don’t order a jumbo margarita, Janet; we’re on the clock.” My recommendations? Save The Brick for Saturday nights and head to Vicious Fishes Taproom & Kitchen for a sesame salmon crunch salad and a pilsner. The day beer suggests that you’re relaxed and approachable, but the salad says you can be trusted to “survey the optics and pivot in a fresh direction” when needed. Other good options are Nil’s Cafe Mediterranean Cuisine in downtown Varina and Zeera Indian (drag Bob from JoCo out of his comfort zone. Why not?).
Girls/Guys Night Out
The work day has ended and you’re ready to get sloppy. FUQUAY IT IS. We’ve got all manner of dives over here, so prepare to overindulge.
Burgers, wings and beer are a Southern Wake specialty. Pictured here, Wingin’ It Bar and Grille in Fuquay-Varina.
Abbey Road has burgers, wings, and beer. The Cleveland Draft House has burgers, wings, and beer. The Aviator has burgers, wings, and beer. And Wingin’ It has — you guessed it — burgers, wings, and beer! Yes, they have other things, but I have yet to go out with friends in Fuquay/Holly Springs and not get a burger, wings, and beer.
For the ladies coming in from Apex in droves, The Aviator has got outside seating with your name on it. For those of you who are still young enough to handle a hangover, The Brickhouse Bar and Grill (affectionately known as “The Brick”) is ready to make all your devil’s juice dreams come true with a side of fries.
If you want to class it up in Holly Springs and get a fancier version of burgers and beer, head to The Hickory Tavern or Town Hall Burger and Beer, but I recommend sticking to Fuquay simply due to the quality people-watching opportunities. Trust me, I’m doing the Lord’s work. Enjoy!
Hilarious, as always.👏🏼 Thank you.